Wednesday, August 31, 2011

"I'm not ready to be a Grandmother"

 Today I want to talk about a common statement that really offends me. Something that I have seen said to others, and that has been said to me.  "I'm not ready to be a (Insert Title)." Really? Someone should halt their reproductive life solely because YOU are not ready for a title? It is the most selfish and rude thing you can say to someone.

The only thing that can make that statement worse is to say it after someone has had a failed pregnancy/are pregnant. To be completely honest most people don't plan on becoming pregnant. Planned or not, lost pregnancies are traumatic. There is a time and place for many things. But there is never a time, and never a place for you to say these words.

Although you probably are boundary stomping.  I totally understand explaining to someone why they shouldn't have a child yet, or another one. A better thing to say would be "I really would like you to wait to have children until you are married, have your own home, car, and a stable job." But to say I don't want you to have kids because I don't want a grandchild/niece/etc is completely out of line.

 Another thing that is socially common but very out of line is when people decide to run their mouth about how many children a person may have/want to have. It comes down to a simple concept. If YOU are not responsible for those children, financially supporting those children, and caring for those children you really are not entitled to an opinion on how many children someone has.

This was today's PSA. In a nutshell. Watch your mouth.

Sunday, August 14, 2011

9 lies that make porn okay

I didnt write this, but I thought it was worth sharing.

  • Lie #1 - Women are less than human
    The women in Playboy magazine are called "bunnies," making them cute little animals or "playmates," making them a toy. Penthouse magazine calls them "pets." Porn often refers to women as animals, playthings, or body parts. Some pornography shows only the body or the genitals and doesn't show the face at all. The idea that women are real human beings with thoughts and emotions is played down.
  • Lie #2 - Women are a "sport"
    Some sports magazines have a "swimsuit" issue. This suggests that women are just some kind of sport. Porn views sex as a game and in a game, you have to "win," "conquer," or "score." Men who buy into this view like to talk about "scoring" with women. They start judging their manhood by how many "conquests" they can make. Each woman I "score" with is another trophy on my shelf, another "notch" in my belt to validate my masculinity.
  • Lie #3 - Women are property
    We've all seen the pictures of the slick car with the sexy girl draped over it. The unspoken message, "Buy one, and you get them both." Hard-core porn carries this even further. It displays women like merchandise in a catalog, exposing them as openly as possible for the customer to look at. It's not surprising that many young men think that if they have spent some money taking a girl out, they have a right to have sex with her. Porn tells us that women can be bought.
  • Lie #4 - A woman's value depends on the attractiveness of her body
    Less attractive women are ridiculed in porn. They are called dogs, whales, pigs or worse, simply because they don't fit into porn's criteria of the "perfect" woman. Porn doesn't care about a woman's mind or personality, only her body.
  • Lie #5 - Women like rape
    "When she says no, she means yes" is a typical porn scenario. Women are shown being raped, fighting and kicking at first, and then starting to like it. Porn teaches men to enjoying hurting and abusing women for entertainment.
  • Lie #6 - Women should be degraded
    Porn is often full of hate speech against women. Women are shown being tortured and humiliated in hundreds of sick ways and begging for more. Does this kind of treatment show any respect for women? Any love? Or is it hatred and contempt that porn is promoting toward women?
  • Lie #7 - Little kids should have sex
    One of the biggest sellers in pornography is imitation "child" porn. The women are "made-up" to look like little girls by wearing pony tails, little girl shoes, holding a teddy bear. The message of the pictures and cartoons is that adults having sex with kids is normal. This sets the porn user up to see children in a sexual way.
  • Lie #8 - Illegal sex is fun
    Porn often has illegal or dangerous elements thrown in to make sex more "interesting." It suggests that you can't enjoy sex if it isn't weird, illegal or dangerous.
  • Lie #9 - Prostitution is glamorous
    Porn paints an exciting picture of prostitution. In reality, many of the women portrayed in pornographic material are runaway girls trapped in a life of slavery. Many having been sexually abused. Some of them are infected with incurable sexually transmitted diseases that are highly contagious and often die very young. Many take drugs just to cope.