Sunday, July 31, 2011

The NNLP

  Dear The National Normalizing Nursing in Public League,

I was a formula fed baby. I was fed with a bottle as were my two sisters and one brother. Almost all of my relatives bottle fed and all of their friends bottle fed. From birth to 16 I had only encountered breastfeeding once.
 
When I was in the first grade my best friends mother had twins. My friend was the eldest of 7 children so they always needed a helping hand. I helped with anything and everything. They even taught me to change a diaper.
One day her mother started nursing her twins. I felt terribly uncomfortable. I even turned my back to her and stared at the wall. I was embarrassed, as if I was doing something wrong by watching.Eventually I got to the point where if I thought she was going to breastfeed I would actually run home and pretend I had chores to do. I didn't know that she was feeding a baby. I didnt know what she was doing.. I just knew I wasnt suppose to look at her private parts.

 I didnt encounter breastfeeding again until I was 16. From then on I only saw babies being fed with bottles, it was my normal. When I was 16 my cousin had a baby, while she was pregnant I remember her saying she wouldn't ever breastfeed. I honestly agreed, I thought it was gross.  Her mother wasn't amused by this statement and said "well that's just crazy, that is what boobs are for!" Although it "knew" what boobs are for I never heard someone talk about it in a social setting. Not too long after this conversation my cousin gave birth and she breastfeed. I thought it was a little strange, not to long ago she was border line bashing breastfeeding then all of a sudden she was doing it?

 A few years went by and I got married. There was tons of talk about babies, everyone wants to know how many you will have, what genders you may want, and WHEN you will have them. With all the talk about babies I decided to start researching anything to do with baby. Pregnancy, Birth, Baby Gear.. I was crazy about gadgets and what gadget would you use more than a bottle? I started to research bottles and choose  the Avent Bottles.. then the question was what formula would I put in that bottle? While researching formula I saw a lot of debate about breastfeeding.. I decided to look into breastfeeding. With very little chance I would actually do it myself.. That is when I found your page.

 At first I felt bad for looking at the photos of women feeding their baby. To me breastfeeding was NOT normal. It was never anything I really knew about.. I started reading blog posts by you. Blog post by blog post I became more and more interested in breastfeeding. To the point where I wanted everyone to breastfeed. 

  Even though my views on breastfeeding were dramatically different than before I was still against breastfeed until 2+. Again, you continued to post blogs, women continued to post on the wall and that too became normal to me.

I want to officially thank you for normalizing breastfeeding for me. I know I am just a single person but after all the knowledge I have gathered from this page and similar pages I have gone from thinking I would never breastfeed, to I might breastfeed, to there being no doubt in my mind that I will breastfeed. I hope that I can help the cause by making breastfeeding normal for my children and their peers.

 







Saturday, July 23, 2011

The Cyberbully

 

   Cyber Bully -"the use of information and communication technologies to support deliberate, repeated, and hostile behavior by an individual or group, that is intended to harm others"

 Cyber bullying is today's hot topic. It seems anytime you say something that another dislikes the first thing said is "that's cyber bullying!" I for one am not very sympathetic of this new label being used for people to play victim. I do believe that bullying is terrible. But my definition of bullying is totally different that what society believes bullying is.

 I am not the type of person who will sugar coat the things I want to say. I don't normally go out of my way to hurt others feelings. But sometimes things need to be said, and sometimes those things will hurt feelings. For people who are forwarding nude pictures of their exs, making hate groups for the "school nerd", people who threaten others, and encourage others to hurt themselves YOU are a indeed a bully.

 I have noticed quite a bit of "passive bullies" they imply mean, harsh, and hurtful things to complete strangers just because they can. But the moment a person reacts they are suddenly the bully? For there to be a situation of bullying someone has to be a victim. If there is no victim it is just two or more parties who dislike each other who have no problem voicing it. Childish or not, it is NOT bullying. It's arguing.

 There is now a huge campaign to "stop cyber bullying" including appearances from children who have been bullied on talk shows, and a tv show on ABC Family. The motive for the new awareness campaign is that children are killing themselves after being bullied, cyber or not. They want the government to make it illegal to bully another person, be it in person or on the internet.

 I for one have a huge issue with the campaigns against bullying. Children have killed themselves, but I think it is quite ignorant to blame it on bullying alone. This stems from a lack of self confidence, usually at fault of parents. I mean, what can we expect when parents work 40+ hours and leave kids to fend for them self?

 Aside from that I think it violates my rights as an American. I have the right to speak freely, my right is not you can speak freely as long as you don't hurt the feelings of another. There are laws for things like slander for a reason. I believe that the reason people want a new law to protect themselves from "bullies" is because most of the things they say are true. You cannot sue another for slander if what they are saying is true, so why not make a law that they simply cannot hurt your feelings?


 There was once a time that kids were cautious about the things they did. They knew that if they did something stupid that they would have to answer to their peers. Now anytime they have to answer to their peers they become the victim, when in reality, in most cases, they are responsible for the ridicule they are receiving. Parents need to focus more on raising stronger children. Children are being raised to be victims. They are not raised with the confidence to stand up for them self when others are mean to them. No, they are raised to cry about it or kill them self?

This problem needs to be addressed by parents. Not by the government.


 People are constantly trying to get attention. They are on TV for getting pregnant at 16, they are pretending to be writers, they are getting naked in front of cameras, and are on TV for being the housewife of a mobster. Call it entertainment if you want, most of these people set bad examples and are poor excuses for what is really acceptable in society.

 Anytime someone makes a public statement against the actions of these people, they are called bullies and haters. I don't understand why making it clear to followers of a bad example that the things this person is doing is WRONG is all of a sudden bullying? As far as the haters comment? I think we have forgotten what hate is. Hate is what Hitler felt against the Jews, not what I feel about a bad mom or crappy writer.


All in all, my advise to you is simple. Spend more time with your kids, raise them to be stronger and more confident individuals, and stop playing victim because you someone hurt your feelings. Know that when you do bad you get bad. You will always have to answer to your peers, so watch what you say and do.





Note: Some kids really are BULLIED. This is an obvious issue, in cases where children really are bullied I do sympathize. At the same time I think that people crying wolf over bullying make the whole cause less interesting.

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

The Breast Milk Baby

  As a child I remember always receiving baby dolls as gifts. Along with those dolls were diapers, clothes, bibs, and you guessed it a bottle! While there is nothing "wrong" with a baby using a bottle, there is something wrong with the fact that as a society we have normalized bottle feeding and deemed breastfeeding sexual.
 
  A company in Spain, Berjuan Toys, decided to make a change. Instead of a doll that takes a bottle, they have designed their dolls to breastfeed. This has made quite a splash in the United States. People are screaming that this over sexualizes little girls, encourages teen pregnancy, and is all around "inappropriate."

 If the argument is that pretending to be a mother is going to encourage teen pregnancy, then we have a bigger issue at hand. I know very few girls that have never actually played with dolls, or imitated their mothers. If this doll does anything it teaches girls what your breasts are for. To feed children.

 People scream that this doll sexualize girls and that it is all around inappropriate. Yet they slip tiny girls into skimpy clothes and parade them around. It looks like this company is being faced with the same discrimination that women who NIP face everyday. 

 It is socially acceptable to wear short shorts, tight jeans, low cut shirts, and bikinis.. It acceptable for a woman to bare her cleavage to impress a man or to catch his attention, but it is almost social taboo if a woman shows her cleavage to feed her child. While some are fighting to correct this cultural issues, others are fighting to keep things the exact same.

  The reality of this issue is that we as a society are uncomfortable with breastfeeding. In the US the breastfeeding statistics are down right sad. Only 42% of babies are breast fed until 6 months of age, and only 22% are breastfed until the age of one.

  Women are bullied into bottle feeding. Right from the start we are taught to feed our babies with bottles, when motherhood actually approaches we are then  told that we are unable to produce enough milk, that our milk isnt always good enough so we need to supplement with formula, that breastfeeding your child in public makes you some kind of exhibitionist, and what gets me the most is that breastfeeding in public is often compared to public urination.

 If we as a society are uncomfortable with a real mother breastfeeding her child of course we are going to be uncomfortable with a girl nursing her doll. Until we as a society fix the social stigma surrounding breastfeeding this doll will never be acceptable. Nether will breastfeeding.

  To those of you who are interested in this doll you may order one at www.thebreastmilkbaby.com. On the main page they have a demo video that will show you how the doll works. There are 6 dolls with 3 different races, and the option of a boy or girl for each race.  I wish this company lots of success. I believe it is vital that our society learns that there is nothing wrong or sexual about breastfeeding. Doll or not.

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Motherhood is calling (And where your children rank)

I DID NOT write this. But I recommend everyone read, at the least, the following passage.

Children rank way below college. Below world travel for sure. Below the ability to go out at night at your leisure. Below honing your body at the gym. Below any job you may have or hope to get. In fact, children rate below your desire to sit around and pick your toes, if that is what you want to do. Below everything. Children are the last thing you should ever spend your time doing.
If you grew up in this culture, it is very hard to get a biblical perspective on motherhood, to think like a free Christian woman about your life, your children. How much have we listened to partial truths and half lies? Do we believe that we want children because there is some biological urge, or the phantom “baby itch”? Are we really in this because of cute little clothes and photo opportunities? Is motherhood a rock-bottom job for those who can’t do more, or those who are satisfied with drudgery? If so, what were we thinking?


Read the rest here

The Greatest Insult To Women: Feminists

   I thought I would start my first blog post off with something I feel quite strongly about. Women's Rights. A woman deserves a voice, the right to learn, and the right to excel as a woman. In America the battle has been won. For the most part we have equal opportunity, little discrimination, and the same rights that a man has.


 When I was taught about feminism I was told that feminists fought for the rights of women. My first thought, even as a child, was what rights do we not already have? I had already been thought that every American has the right to vote, freedom of speech, to be treated at a hospital, and has the right to an education. My teacher then began the lesson. We learned about the discrimination against women, we learned about how feminists fought for the rights of women.. And for that I am forever thankful. But in this day and age I wonder what feminists have cost us?

 Well, for one they cost us chivalry. Men don't stand when women walk into a room, they don't hold doors, or pull out our chairs, and they no longer watch what they say in the presence of a woman. Now that women are "equal" why would they deserve any extra attention or respect? Feminists are interpreting chivalry as disrespecting women. They have said that chivalry implies that women are weak and less intelligent. I find nothing wrong with chivalry, but I do think it is wront that feminists have bullied men into thinking that showing good manners and respect to women is "sexist."


  Feminists fought for women's rights to make the world a better place for women. But I believe that in some cases women empowerment has made men lazy. Not too long ago men had to work to "be" with a woman. They had to invest time, money, and emotions into being with that woman. But according to most feminists  that is just unacceptable. Its now normal to have fly by sex with any consenting partner. And with chivalry being dead and all and women being in "control of their sexuality" what work is to be done in the first place? I guess putting ourselves at risk for unplanned pregnancy and probably an std or two is empowerment?

There was once a time in America that it was normal and socially acceptable to want to be a wife. I really wish I lived in that time. A time where it was wonderful to want to stay at home and raise your children, when it wasn't a jaw dropping idea for the man to work outside of the home and at the end of the day come home  to his wife and children.

 If you think that feminism hasnt robbed women of anything then I guess you havent looked closely enough at the lives of women today.  In Beyonce's recent song she says "We're smart enough to make our millions, strong enough to bear your children, then get back to bidness" and talk like that is exactly the problem. We are expected to make the money, bare the children, pawn them off to strangers, and get back to work.    

  Now-a-days women work just as much as men, but by nature still have the same desires as women long before the feminists came along. Socially we are expected to work a normal 9-5 like every other human out there. But on top of that we are still expected to reproduce and replace ourselves with 2.3 well behaved, smart, and functional children. Feminists have completely torn apart and degraded motherhood. I mean, why else would the be so pro-abortion? It surely isnt because motherhood is of some value.

 With no consequences for sex and no value to motherhood why would marriage even be a concern for women now a days? In this day and age we are so self absorbed that we could care less about what is good for the future and what is good for our children. Everything done now is about self gratification. Be it a feel good moment with a random stranger, or an abortion so that we can keep having those encounters, or working a demanding job while blowing off your partner, almost everything done is done for a selfish reason. The idea of being selfless now is absolutely ridiculous to some, yet the wonder why their relationships fail? Until women get their heads out of the clouds and start focusing on better goals the future of our children seems pretty sad.